And, that has to be my worst flaw.

I wish everything was happening the way I wanted it to. Sometimes, I lose my nerve because the smallest detail didn't end up the way I wanted it. Plans are being made, scenarios being precisely written, steps marked a long ago. And it won't stop.
No matter what's it about.
Lines and lines of exact expectations tumble through my head, day and night. And, the worst thing is, their main subject are the most abstract segments of my life.
I plan what'll I say when I see you, I plan how I'll feel and how will you react. I imagine, but end up being disappointed when it doesn't end up being like that. It's not expectations anymore.
And I hate it.
I tend to be chaotic and relaxed, but I fail miserably every single time. It's just, my wishes and dreams are so strong, they get sad when they don't see the light of the day.